I'd like to highlight a couple of signs I recently saw. Both employed the phrase "for your convenience," and while one of these signs clearly met this self-imposed criterion, the other most certainly did not.
First, outside of a Wells Fargo I saw a sign that said, "For your convenience, we are now open on Saturdays until 6pm." This is a great example of an action they've taken that is, indeed, for my convenience. No, I never go into a bank (except to use an ATM, and once 3 years ago to get 20s for a trip to Africa). But if I ever had to make a deposit in person, and it was like halfway through the weekend, and I just positively couldn't stand to wait until Monday... this branch would be a totally awesome lifesaver.
Second, in the parking lot of a nearby Safeway I saw a sign that said, "For your convenience, we have installed devices in the shopping carts that ensure that if a shopping cart leaves this lot, the wheels will lock up, an alarm will sound, your baby will be kidnapped by terrorists, and somewhere, somehow, a kitten will be drowned." I'm paraphrasing. But only slightly.
You'll notice that the second example is actually not for my convenience in the least. It's for their convenience. "They" being "The Man." No, this isn't for my convenience at all... instead I'd say it's the rough consumer equivalent of shoving a poleaxe up my ass. Well ok, it's not that bad. But people who mis-use the convenience phraseology have ruined that phrase for the rest of businessdom, and they must pay.
I vow that one day, when I am a democratically-elected politician (or a Party tool of our Communist Chinese Overlords (CCO for short)), I shall tighten regulations around the use of this phrase, to ensure that it is only ever applied to actions taken that were really, truly, for the convenience of the customer. Damn right.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I love posts like this. So very true.
Oh Graeme. There you go again, forcing me to play the devil's advocate. While you are correct that the word "convenience" is grossly misused by this particular store, I would imagine that their thinking is that it actually does save you, the customer, money to install such security measures. Hobos or miscreants or ruffians or law breakers or jmokes may steal the shopping cart from the premises, which means that the store has to purchase more carts (said carts, in fact, being provided for your convenience), which could theoretically, or even actually, drive up the cost of goods in the store. See?!? Their cold, black, capitalistic hearts are in the right place! (Can you feel the sarcasm? It's palpable!)
PS - Has anyone figured out how to say Meijer's "Why Pay More!" - without it sounding like a question, which it clearly is?
PPS - You know you'd be totally into having a poleaxe up your tuckus.
for your convenience, i am leaving a comment.
Post a Comment