If You're a Republican...

This doesn't apply to Big A's brand of smart Republicanism. It's more a send-up of the idiot GOP that evolved in the 70s/80s and has recently begun to (FINALLY) flare out. But it's a great call-out of how hypocritical and/or inconsistent the party platform has become. Not that the Dems are perfect, of course.

IF YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN YOU NEED
TO BELIEVE:

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals
and Hillary
Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy
when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with
him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because
the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam
is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out
of the United Nations, and our highest national
priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iran.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own
body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't
have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all
Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is
socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public
at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in
the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
Internet.

13. The public has a right to know
about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving
record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral
failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an
illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive
Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might
be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in
the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is
irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot
their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by
the quail.

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Wheel of Time to continue

A few months ago I posted that one my my favorite authors, Robert Jordan, had passed away. He died of a rare blood disease called amyloidosis. He was in the process of writing the 12th and final book in his Wheel of Time series, called A Memory of Light.

Well, I just read on dragonmount.com that his wife and editor, Harriet Popham Rigney, has chosen an author to complete RJ's book. Brandon Sanderson is the man. I haven't read any of his novels, but I suppose now I should. RJ had completed his story arc long ago, but the actual execution of the outline was incomplete. So I expect that although the writing style may slightly differ, the content will remain true to RJ's vision.

I'm really glad that Harriet is keeping her hand in the final book... the bummer is that it won't be released until Fall 2009. But that should be plenty of time for Harriet and Brandon to align the book to RJ's vision and standards!

Yay!

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RIP Mme. Irey

I was incredibly saddened to learn that my high school French teacher, Mme Irey, passed away in September of this year from a form of brain cancer. In the last decade I've spent a fair amount of time in Europe, and every trip to France I've been able to showcase my relative fluency in French, thanks to the incredible teaching skills of Mme Irey. I'd been intending to track her down and re-connect, and only recently found out that she'd passed away. I had never thought that time would be a factor... she went to high school with my mom in Wheaton, so I assumed she had decades left. I think the lesson here is that you shouldn't wait to reconnect with people who mean a lot to you... do it now.

As odd as it seems, I was able to find a lot of information on Mme using Facebook. I've actually been reconnecting with all sorts of people on there, people I first met nearly 20 years ago. It's been pretty incredible. But there's a Facebook group praying for Mme's health... check it out and pay your respects, if you knew her.

The following is the post I put on that page... I guess it's a sort of farewell/tribute to Mme. It's nothing special... but she meant a lot to me so I want to share this on here, as well.

============================================

Oh Madame... for years I'd been planning to track you down and tell you
all the great stories of my travels in France, and how even after all
these years I was able to speak fluently, thanks to 3 years with you. I
thought of you every time I did it... whether I was arguing with a
conductor on a train in Lyon, or chatting it up with a random hotel
owner in Marseilles. I'm so so so sorry that you've left us... we'll
all miss you terribly.

Je suis sur que vous etes dans une
meilleure place, madame. Il faut que tout de nous y allions,
eventuellement. [mon dieu! le subjonctif!!]

I'd play one more
game of Taxi, Taxi in your honor... if only I could remember the rules.
=P I always looked forward to French... We had so much fun coming up
with totally random names... with our trip to France (il faut penser au
group!!!!)... with Robert et Mireille... so many awesome memories.

A bien tot, madame... vous nous manquez pour toujours.
L'ombre de la Dreche Invisible ('94)

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International Human Rights Day!

Well, it turns out today is the 57th annual International Human Rights Day! So if you were planning to oppress anyone today (Big A!), please don't. In case you're wondering what this actually means, well, wikipedia it you lazy bastard. That's what I did. But to spare you the effort, I'll summarize for you. It's a High Holy Day for the UN, "normally marked by both high-level political conferences and meetings
and by cultural events and exhibitions dealing with human rights issues." So this is a good day for you to have that high-level diplomatic junket you've been planning, although if you didn't send out your invites well ahead of time you're not likely to be able to grab any major world leader's time. Still, it's probly worth checking their Outlook calendars just in case.

Also, consider giving some scratch to your local international Human Rights organization. Amnesty International is a great one, as are my US favorites of the ACLU and HRC.

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Cosco Busan Spill Litigation Proceeding

So you may remember from a month or so ago the oil spill that happened in the SF Bay. A ship carrying a really nasty blend of oil derivatives rammed the Bay Bridge and spilled some 58,000 gallons of oil in the Bay. Clean-up is still proceeding, though the bulk of it has been completed.

The good news is that litigation is proceeding against the ship's owner, its insurance company, and the pilot who guided the ship into the bridge support pillar. And from the article I just read in the San Jose Mercury News, it looks like the US Dept of Justice will be suing for a significant level of damages, to cover not just the cost of clean-up, but the total cost of restoration of both habitats and recreational space.

You can read the SJMN article here. And you can read more general news about the spill here and here. And lastly, you can see a cool google map of the affected areas here.

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