Plague update

I totally forgot to update y'all on my plague. So the good news is it seems to have passed. Thank god. After roughly 35 days, I seem to be plague-free. Hilariously, I got everyone everywhere sick... including all the client and Accenture people at the client site in San Diego. In fact, everyone moved out of the room I was sitting in and left me there alone, and called it the Quarantine Zone. But it wasn't enough to save any of them... they were all infected! Muah hahahahhahahaha!!!

Here's hoping the Master Cleanse helps drive the nail into the coffin of the plague... rather than emboldening it, like talk of troop withdrawal from Iraq emboldens Iranian agents to kill Americans! =P

Fasting: Master Cleanse, the recipe!

I forgot to post the recipe for the spicy lemonade before....

8 oz water
2 Tbsp lemon juice (fresh squeezed!)
1-2 Tbsp Grade B (or better?) maple syrup; the more syrup the less weight loss
1/10 tspn cayenne pepper, or to taste (I use more)

That's it! Easy as pie! If nothing else, it's a phenomenal lemonade. I might try mixing in some blueberry and mint some time in the future when I'm not fasting... I think that would be uber.

Fasting: Master Cleanse, Day 3

So it's Monday night (technically Tuesday morning), and I'm still alive and kicking. I've had a coated tongue all night... I mean it's so coated it's like my tongue is wearing a sweater. I've also been farting here and there... but other than that, no crazy expulsions or whatnot. Which is fine by me, though I wonder if I shouldn't have had those start yet.

I've had plenty of energy and mental acuity today, despite having had little sleep, having flown to San Diego, and having worked all day and evening. For most of the day I felt a little like I had tunnel vision or something, as if I had no peripheral vision. But I think that's more a sleep issue than anything.

Oh, I had to use lime juice instead of lemon juice, because the Ralph's in downtown San Diego only had lemon juice that was ridden with preservatives, and I couldn't actually squeeze lemons in my rental car on the way to the office. Measuring out the syrup and juice in the Ralph's parking garage into a gallon jug of spring water was weird enough on its own. But I bought several bags of lemons to squeeze myself tomorrow morning.

Oh, I'm also using Grade A dark amber maple syrup, because one of the things I read said to use "Grade B or better", and I'm assuming A>B because it costs more at the store. =P

Anyways.... so far so good. I've been experiencing crazy food cravings all day.... nachos was the most burning one. A big plate of nachos with sour cream and guac and cheese and salsa and olives.... mmmmmmmmmmmm. But I haven't actually been hungry, which is pretty crazy. Allegedly I'll lose all hunger desire by end of day tomorrow. I can't even imagine what that's like to not want to eat, oh, say, chocolate. Or Taco Bell!!

Fasting: Master Cleanse

So yeah, you heard me right, I'm fasting. I'm doing what's called the "Master Cleanse," and I'm going to keep it up for ~10 days. Basically, I've stopped eating, and the only two things I consume are: water, and spicy lemonade. I drink about 10 cups of the lemonade a day, which consists of water, fresh-squeezed lemons, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. The syrup helps keep blood sugar up so I don't lose energy, and it's the primary source of calories (roughly 1000/day). The cayenne pepper stimulates metabolism. And the lemon juice helps with peristalsis, particularly in the colon.

The idea with the fast is that by limiting caloric intake you trigger the body to enter a super-healing mode. The body does not actually cannibalize healthy tissue until somewhere in day 10-40 of the fast; during a fast, in order to get its needed proteins, fats, etc, the body consumes waste already in the body. So that includes dead and dying cells, fat cells (woohoo!), and various other miscellaneous "toxins", as the crazies like to call them. The body also works to expel all toxins from the body. During the fast most people gain a bit of energy, and tend to feel fantastic. Some people experience symptoms of cold or flu, which are temporary. Almost everyone experiences coated tongues and heinous feces, but by the end of the fast all "toxins" are purged, tongues are uncoated, and feces is basically just mucous. [Ew!] Overall the body slims down, heals itself, and purges itself of waste and toxins.

So why on god's green earth would I do this, you ask? Good question. I'm not entirely sure I've got it figured out myself, although it feels like the right thing to do. Hehehe. No, there's more to it than that. I've actually known a number of people through the years who swear by it, my friend Tiffany included. But the impetus for me doing it now was a lunch conversation I had on Friday with Dana and Peter at work. We talked about all sorts of work-inappropriate things, but colon health was one of them, and the Master Cleanse came up. When I mentioned it during Book Club the next day at Tiffany's, she pulled out several big-ass books about cleansing bodily symptoms, including one with colon pics. That one sold me. I mean, I love my colon, and that picture of a sagging and ill colon scared me straight (so to speak).

So what am I trying to get out of this?

1. Clean and healthy colon. It's not called the Master Cleanse for nothing.
2. Test of my self-discipline. I love food, for god's sake!!!!!
3. Resetting of my cravings and tastes. Tho this is more out of intellectual curiosity.
4. Kick-start on weight loss (I need to drop maybe 20 lbs total to be my ideal leanness). I expect this'll drop 5-10 of those lbs. Though everyone says not to do it for the weight loss component!

What freakish side-effects am I expecting?

1. Weird toxin expulsions in my mouth (coated tongue, bad breath).
2. Acne flare-up, though this was already in progress (woohoo for being 30 with zits!).
3. Horrid monstrosities in the toilet. [The sign of a cleansed colon!]
4. Lots and lots and lots of peeing.

I started on Saturday afternoon at Tiffany's, at about 4pm. I made my first pitcher of lemonade around 6pm same day, and haven't looked back since (it's midnight Monday). I'll do an update in the next post.

I suck

OK... so I totally suck at updating this thing. So much has happened since last I posted... the State of the Union (laughable), I've read some books, an incredibly important relationship in my life has crumbled, and... I'm fasting!

First 100 Hours of the 110th Congress

Below is a letter to me from Rep. Anna Eshoo, the US Rep for the 14th Congressional District, which covers Sunnyvale and the surrounding area. [Yes, I've moved, but I like her so I stayed on her list! =P] It explains what the 110th Congress has pledged to do in the first 100 hours (before the State of the Union), as outlined by Reid and Pelosi. Pretty ambitious, but pretty damned awesome, too.

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Dear Graeme,

Yesterday, January 4th was the first day of the historic 110th Congress. I recited the official oath affirming to support and defend the Constitution and to faithfully discharge the duties of representing the people of California’s 14th Congressional District. What an honor it is to serve you.

The opening of the 110th Congress carries great significance with the election of Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. She is the first woman in the history of our nation to lead the House and the first Californian to serve as Speaker.

Under Speaker Pelosi, the work of the new Congress will begin right away. In the first 100 legislative hours of the session, the House will pass legislation to:

· Ban Gifts and Travel from Lobbyists
· Mandate Ethics Training for Members of Congress and Staff
· Allow Adequate Time to Review Legislation
· Ban "Dead of the Night" Special Interest Provisions
· Curb Voting Time Abuses
· Enact Earmark Reform
· Reinstate Fiscal Responsibility
· Implement the 9/11 Commission's Recommendations
· Raise the Minimum Wage
· Allow Stem Cell Research
· Require Medicare to Negotiate Lower Drug Prices
· Cut Interest Rates on Student Loans in Half
· Repeal Subsidies for Big Oil and Invest in Renewable Energy

You can read about the details of each legislative item as well as follow their progress on my Web site. After the first 100 legislative hours, the House will move ahead on additional issues important to the American people.

As always, should you have any questions or comments, let me hear from you.

Sincerely,
Anna Eshoo
Member of Congress

Hunk'd!

omg, this is awesome: http://www.hunkd.com/. It's google but with a hot guy! hahahahaha. How innovative! Lemme see if I can find one with a chica.

I have the plague

OK, so I don't have the real-deal, killed-a-third-of-Europe plague. But I've been sick for a week now, and it barely seems to be abating. I've forgotten what it's like to live a normal, de-congested life. You norms out there have it so easy, with your dairy and your kleenex-free lifestyles.

Of course, I may have aggravated the illness a bit over the weekend... Lessee.

1. Friday night my good friend Drew (college roommate) got married, so I was out pretty late that night. Sure, most of the evening was spent in discussion with my friend-dating-back-to-6th-grade Justin and his wife Sarah, but there was definitely a parade of boozes involved. Mmmmm, booze.
   
2. Then I flew back to SF from Chi on an 8am flight... that was brutal. I didn't sleep at all on Friday night, due to the wedding followed by the packing followed by an acute fear I'd sleep through my flight. So my mom drives me to the airport early, with plenty of time to check in my bags... but a bus literally unloaded people right in front of me, swelling the check-in lines just long enough to keep me from reaching the kiosk until 7:16, one min after the 45 min baggage cut-off. So I end up on a 10am stand-by, sleeping on a bench for the hour or so in-between. I also got in a very slow-motion argument with a jerk-ass United gate attendant about whether I should take the shitty seat they gave me or roll the dice on a later flight. I ended up taking it, and the seat wasn't the back-row middle he claimed but was an aisle seat a good 20 rows from the back of the plane. He was such a bastard to me, too... couldn't he tell how exhausted I was from how slowly my words were forming? I hope his pension gets lost in arbitration. =P But anyways, I slept well on the plane, because I was determined to rest up in preparation for that night...


3. ... which was, of course, New Year's Eve Eve. As this was our 2nd Annual NYEE, us Cali kids had plans to go out that night, be they malformed or not. We ended up going to Slide, which is underneath Ruby Skye. Jamie Foxx was there... we totally hung out. He's a good guy. Roger danced a lot. Kaylynn partied hearty. I bought champaign for 15 people to ring in the fake new year (we actually counted down at midnight, in the middle of a packed club). Leah macked on what looked to be a boy scout, then threw up most heartily. The Spaniards, who'd arrived earlier that evening, developed an acute case of vaginitis and stayed in, despite my promises to the boob-focused doorman that they'd be showing up later. We were out till 3 or 3:30, then stayed up talking till 5am, before 45 people passed out in varying piles around my apartment.


4. Sunday was designed to be low-key, but by then the Spaniards had conquered their terrible wasting disease, and were ready to hit the clubs. If you'll recall, I was still sick at this point, so I figured I should stay in. Of course, Emilie and the Spaniards would have none of that. They administered 100 cc's of booze and my vaginitis cleared right up. Sadly, Kelly and Leah were beyond saving, as were Tiffany and Stefan. But Brook, Joe, Roger, Emilie, the Spaniards and I were all raring to go... We rang in the new year at my apt, then we all went out to 1015 at 1am. Still a $40 cover at that point. But we danced for a few hours before wandering over to Mel's at the Metreon for a late night feast. At that point, it literally felt like someone was raking daggers down my throat every time I swallowed, but I think it was all worth it.

So here I am, ~4 days later, and I'm still sick. I'm pretty sure I deserve it, which is why I felt so guilty about staying home on Tuesday. But now I'm back down in San Diego, it's 1am, and I'm not asleep. Think I'll be getting over it any time soon? Haha.

wtf.... Tony Bennett's cooler than me and Lindsay?!

This is total crap… from an article about the first House session of the 110th Congress today (http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/01/05/pelosi/)… “Up in the gallery, the coolest man in the room, the octogenarian Tony Bennett, occupied himself throughout the proceedings by sketching the House floor with a fine black pen and a small notebook.”

Wtf!!!!! When Lindsay and I sat in on Congress in August, we were prohibited from taking writing utensils up to the gallery with us. Which really bothered me then (and now), because those people on the floor are working for me, dammit, and if I want to take notes on what's happening, who the hell are they to say they can't?? There's got to be some fundamental principle of democracy being violated with that idiotic rule, at least in spirit if not in letter.

So my question becomes, why the hell does Tony Bennett get to take writing utensils up there, and me and Lindsay don’t?!?!?! How many countries do I have to sell out a concert in before I get to break the [nonsensical] rules of the US Congress, too?

National Park Service ordered to be agnostic on geology

This is a press release provided by PEER (Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility). If you need a bit of New Year's Day depression, this should do it.

Original post is here: http://www.peer.org/news/news_id.php?row_id=801

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HOW OLD IS THE GRAND CANYON? PARK SERVICE WON’T SAY
Orders to Cater to Creationists Makes National Park Agnostic on Geology

Washington, DC — Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. Despite promising a prompt review of its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah's flood rather than by geologic forces, more than three years later no review has ever been done and the book remains on sale at the park, according to documents released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

“In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology,” stated PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch. “It is disconcerting that the official position of a national park as to the geologic age of the Grand Canyon is ‘no comment.’”

In a letter released today, PEER urged the new Director of the National Park Service (NPS), Mary Bomar, to end the stalling tactics, remove the book from sale at the park and allow park interpretive rangers to honestly answer questions from the public about the geologic age of the Grand Canyon. PEER is also asking Director Bomar to approve a pamphlet, suppressed since 2002 by Bush appointees, providing guidance for rangers and other interpretive staff in making distinctions between science and religion when speaking to park visitors about geologic issues.

In August 2003, Park Superintendent Joe Alston attempted to block the sale at park bookstores of Grand Canyon: A Different View by Tom Vail, a book claiming the Canyon developed on a biblical rather than an evolutionary time scale. NPS Headquarters, however, intervened and overruled Alston. To quiet the resulting furor, NPS Chief of Communications David Barna told reporters and members of Congress that there would be a high-level policy review of the issue.

According to a recent NPS response to a Freedom of Information Act request filed by PEER, no such review was ever requested, let alone conducted or completed.

Park officials have defended the decision to approve the sale of Grand Canyon: A Different View, claiming that park bookstores are like libraries, where the broadest range of views are displayed. In fact, however, both law and park policies make it clear that the park bookstores are more like schoolrooms rather than libraries. As such, materials are only to reflect the highest quality science and are supposed to closely support approved interpretive themes. Moreover, unlike a library the approval process is very selective. Records released to PEER show that during 2003, Grand Canyon officials rejected 22 books and other products for bookstore placement while approving only one new sale item — the creationist book.

Ironically, in 2005, two years after the Grand Canyon creationist controversy erupted, NPS approved a new directive on “Interpretation and Education (Director’s Order #6) which reinforces the posture that materials on the “history of the Earth must be based on the best scientific evidence available, as found in scholarly sources that have stood the test of scientific peer review and criticism [and] Interpretive and educational programs must refrain from appearing to endorse religious beliefs explaining natural processes.”

“As one park geologist said, this is equivalent of Yellowstone National Park selling a book entitled Geysers of Old Faithful: Nostrils of Satan,” Ruch added, pointing to the fact that previous NPS leadership ignored strong protests from both its own scientists and leading geological societies against the agency approval of the creationist book. “We sincerely hope that the new Director of the Park Service now has the autonomy to do her job.”