And now for something completely different.

I had a physical yesterday with a new doctor (Dr. William Owen)... the first physical I'd had in almost 2 years. It actually went really well... the PA (Carl Stein) was great; he took time to answer my questions and explain things to me, and made sure to review every minor complaint I brought up. Both PA and doc are gay, and specialize in treating gay patients. I wanted to give that route a try so that I didn't feel awkward asking gay-themed questions about my body or sex. =D And overall, given my experience, I left feeling very comfortable with the choice I've made.

But.

About midway through the exam, the PA tells me to take off all my clothes and hang them on the door. I strip to my underwear, and then verify that he meant ALL of my clothes. He did. So I take off my underwear and I'm standing there completely nude. He has me lie down, and does the checks of my lungs and lymph nodes, and then has me stand to do the whole "turn your head and cough" routine. So I do. No hernias. Good. Then he turns to the table, and starts making these crazy adjustments to fold it up. I'm thinking, that's a weird configuration... I wonder what he plans to do with it like that? The bed is sloping down away from the footrest... though that footrest is curiously a half leg's distance from the bed, not a full leg's...

And then he turns to me and say, "OK, let's do a rectal exam."

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. "Don't you start doing those at age 35? I'm only 32."

"Ah, well, it's better to catch these things early."

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. "Well.... ok........"

"Alright, bend over the table, and place your knees here. You'll have to reach back and pull your butt cheeks apart. ... OK, I'm using lube, so this shouldn't hurt, it should just be uncomfortable."

Yeah. In case you're wondering... it was. Uncomfortable that is. Good news is my prostate feels normal. And though I did leave there feeling slightly violated, I'm actually really glad he sprung that on me. Cause if I'd known ahead of time that he was going to do that, I think I would have been pretty worked up about it for the days leading up to it.

And in case you were thinking, "but you're gay, you have things up your ass all day long. how could this be hard for you?" Well, to that I say, fuck you, I don't have things up my ass all day long. =D I actually rarely have things up my ass, and when I do, it's contextually VERY different from a doctor's brusque ass probe. I suspect my experience is similar to what women encounter at a gynie. I'll have to ask around about that. =D